Tuesday, September 4, 2007

So, um, could someone restart my heart please? Thanks.

I checked the mail over the weekend and found that the hospital had sent me bills for almost $2,000 for Kaylee’s birth, when I thought we didn’t owe anything because of the extra insurance coverage we’d bought.

Now, ok. Kaylee is, of course, priceless. If someone told me that we’d have to pay a million dollars in order to keep her, I’d find a way to set up a payment plan or sell off my soul.

But still, when you think your bills are paid, a statement saying “send payment within 30 days” -- where said payment is several digits long -- is kind of shocking.

I spent all weekend in a bit of a panic, trying to figure out how we’d manage to come up with that much money so quickly. (They don’t repossess babies, do they?)

I called the hospital this morning, having practiced my angry speech all day yesterday and all the way to work today. It involved creative swear words, a couple of insults and perhaps some crying. It was really quite beautiful.

But I didn’t get to use it after all. The lady on the phone almost immediately recognized a clerical error and told me that I didn’t owe anything.

So, there’s one weekend needlessly lost to panic (and a three-day weekend, at that), but at least I get to keep my baby. Whew.


pam said...

Darn. I was picturing a Rambo-style scene, in which you're holed up in the forest with Kaylee. Your face is painted with mud and you're screaming at a bunch of hospital workers in scrubs, "You can have my baby when you rip her out of my cold dead hands." A rain of bullets from your automatic weapon follows.

Heather McDonnell said...

That would have made a much more interesting story. Maybe I should re-write this post.